We reside in the gray.

We live in the gray.

Our entire existence is gray. We would love to think it’s black and white. That’s easily digestible. It flows through the bowels effortlessly, not getting caught on things like root beliefs, societal norms, and the lies we tell ourselves to keep things from being too arduous.

The truth is, life is incredibly complicated. Every single part of it. From the choices you make when you get dressed in the morning to the house you decide to purchase.

If we can sort things, place them into molds, stereotypes, cabinets, folders, labels, we can make sense of things. Life, perhaps, won’t seem so alarming and unpredictable. Things will remain comfortable.

When something horrific happens, we try to make meaning out of it.

“Oh, this is why it happened.”

“This makes it make more sense.”

We assign contexts, definitions, explanations, meanings, when there might not be any. Or if there are, it’s not so simplistic. We also may be so far off base, we have no hope of the sense we so desperately seek.

If there is a clear right and wrong, that’s an easy life. If there’s a black and white, unclouded answer on the issues and things we see around us, it would be much smoother.

There are layers upon layers to every situation.

A person orders an oat milk latte?

Must be super high maintenance, snobby, and thinks they’re better than everyone else.

Check.

Sense made. Move along, little doggie.

Nothing makes that much sense. The gray involved in everyone’s life is something few people want to look into. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable enough to not know. To try to understand. To accept what you see and hear. You sit with people where they are. To hold space and not flinch.

Take one singular homeless person on the street. What do you see? What labels do you pull out? Which drawers do you put them into so you can rest comfortably in your space?

Do you know the multifaceted layers that got that person to this exact moment? Do you know all the grays?

Bob, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Homeless!

Are we afraid of discomfort? Are we afraid of the common humanity? Do we realize people can take only so much? Do we know most people are just trying to do the best they can with the tools they have? Do we realize issues that people get so upset about are actually an “it depends” type situation?

It’s easy for us to sit in our comfortable, righteous shell and not let these things sink in. Perhaps, even reading this blog, you roll your eyes and call me a liberal or some other derogatory term used to aide your comfort level.

We lean into the black and white.

We believe in the fallacy to keep ourselves safe.

We keep comfort at all costs. And boy, does it cost us.

Relationships. Understanding. Humanity. Unity.

Boy, does it cost us.